A Year Later
by ayearlater
Summary: The end for Gilmore Girls that we deserved but never received. What happened after Lorelei's wedding and Rory's famous line?
1. Chapter 1

The miniature TV screen in front of me was playing a bad romantic comedy. I had made sure I memorised the name after the first scene (a comical large wedding being interrupted by the groom's father confessing his love for the priest) so I could watch it again with my mom and laugh at everything together. It just wasn't the same doing it alone.

The flight was long, eight hours. Eight hours of dreading the reason I was on my way to London. Eight hours of bad romantic comedies that reminded me of the pathetic nature of my love life. I had picked my reheated dish of vegetarian lasagne clean of pasta and was looking at the remains. Whoever thought vegetables in a lasagne was a good idea was crazy. This was going to be an excruciatingly long flight.

I was so grateful, though. So grateful of how my mom had taken the news. She hadn't cheered, she hadn't banished me from our home (sorry grandma), she had just sat there silent. It wasn't a painful silence, because I knew that the silence was her ignoring the relevant question that was on both our minds. Instead of letting her suffer, I decided to speak first.

"I'm not sure who the father is."

She let out a breath.

"It could be Logan's. There was a night…"

She bit her lip.

"But for all I know, it could be the Wookie."

She smiled a bit.

I almost started crying right there and then, not because it was so terrible, it just wasn't planned. But so incredibly grateful am I that she just smiled at me, took my hand and said "you are not alone". That's what's getting me through this endless excuse of a trip.

There was no way I was going to contact the Wookie - partly because I had no way of contacting him whatsoever - but I had to tell Logan. I didn't want to do it over the phone, there was no way of telling what he thought if I couldn't see his eyes. And Skype just isn't the same thing. So I had to flew out there to see him. The only fault with my plan was that I hadn't been able to bring myself to tell him about my visit.

So there I was, on my way to see my engaged ex-boyfriend to tell him that he might be the father of my unborn child. The romantic comedy wasn't doing it for me anymore so I turned it off. The next eight hours were spent staring at the black screen infront of me, trying to ignore the loud snores of a man named Steve who sat beside me.


	2. Chapter 2

When I finally arrived at the airport I quickly dashed through security and bagage claim. I stopped at a minimart to buy chocolate and thereby make up for all the calories I missed at the plane. With my red bag rolling behind me, I took off for the tube. But as I sat down, I realised that I didn't know where to go. I couldn't very well stop by his apartment and surprise him with balloons and a cake. Maybe his fiancée liked surprises, who knew.

With a quick Google search I decided to check into a cheap hotel (in central London measure) a couple of blocks from his flat. It was already dark outside so I just ordered room service and put on a 90's sitcom. Although the only thing that was playing in my head was our last goodbye. We had already negotiated a deal, he had a memory to remember me by and I had bottled up all my emotions. We were done. Now I was here, to scatter our movie-like ending and destroy his life. I hoped he still liked surprises.

I texted him early that morning.

\- Can you meet me today? I happen to be in London.

He replied quickly.

\- Sure Ace, your favourite café?

\- Sounds good, meet you there at 3?

\- See you there.

I sat at the desk by the window with my laptop. I'd recently hit a writers block with my story so I mostly spent the hours staring at a blank page in front of me. I'd reached my Chilton days, and I had no idea how to describe them. I had the perfect characters, Dean, Paris, Tristan, and later Jess. But I couldn't get them to work. To write everything down I had to understand them and their decisions. But I'd gotten stuck at the car accident with Jess. It was fuzzy and I couldn't stop thinking about him. We were in a really good place right now and it was hard to remember how it had been so long ago.

Finally the time had passed and I took my coat and handbag and went out the door. I had just taken a few steps until I realised that I was in London, so I returned to the room to get my umbrella.

My favourite place in London was an independent coffee shop run by a retired lady who spent most of her time reading in a armchair by the shop window. Her grandson worked as a barista and were always bringing his girlfriend around. It was such a cute place with so many different people and I just loved sitting there and be a part of it. This would be the ideal writing space, I thought to myself.

I ordered a coffee and sat down in a chair at a small table in the corner. I already knew he would be late so I picked up a book to read in the meantime. It was hard to concentrate, I had been so intent on never seeing Logan again. Now he was going to be here in five minutes. His green eyes and blond locks was carved in my brain, I knew every wrinkle by his eyes by heart. I didn't want to see him because it would open up some well sewed wounds. But I couldn't also not see him, my whole body ached of lust.

I immediately tensed when I heard his voice.

"An espresso, please."

I looked up and locked eyes with him. A cold hand reached out and squeezed my heart. I still loved him so incredibly much.


	3. Chapter 3

"I've missed you Ace."

He sat down and put the coffee cup on the table. He turned the book around to read the title.

"I'm surprised there's still books out there that you haven't read."

He smiled at me, and I felt that warmth filling my chest. I hated that he still had that effect on me. He was engaged for God's sake.

"I'm rereading it, actually."

He laughed, a deep-throated, heartfelt laugh.

"I knew I could count on you to surprise me."

I smiled. He took a sip of his coffee. I sighed. Boy, if he only knew.

We chatted a bit, I asked him about work and the wedding. He asked me about work, and I told him about my many misfortunes with various newspapers and that about my new project. He was sincerely thrilled for me. I'd always loved how excited he got for me. I just didn't know how to say what I'd came for.

"So, we've darted around the subject a while," he said, "what brings you into town? You couldn't resist the coffee?"

I laughed. "I actually have an endless source of coffee in Stars Hollow. The perks of having a stepfather that works in a diner. But I actually came to London to see you."

I bit my lip and waited for his response. He sighed, still smiling. "Rory, I thought you didn't want to see me because of Odette."

"No, I know. I just…" How do people do this? In movies they just blurt it out and then cue dramatic facial expression, but I think it was physically impossible for me to utter the right words in that moment.

"Has something changed? Do you still want to be with me? Even though the circumstances aren't… ideal?"

"No, it's just…" He looked at me with that intense gaze of his. Here goes nothing. "I'm pregnant, Logan."

Cue the dramatic facial expression.

Cue the silence.

Cue the "oh my god can he just say _something_ ".

"Logan." He was still staring at me. "Please say something."

Silence. I couldn't keep the Lorelei Gilmore in me any longer.

"I'm sorry. I know this comes as a total shock for you, it did for me to. You know, it wasn't like I just woke up one morning and shouted 'i'm pregnant' and skipped away happily. I didn't want this, you didn't want this. You are engaged. I know all of this. But I just felt like I couldn't keep this from you 'cause that would have been even worse. Maybe you wanted me to, Logan. I didn't know, I just felt like I had to do something. But I don't know what to do in this situation. I've never read the handbook. Is there a handbook? I really need to get my hands on that…"

"Rory." He sighed. And blinked - finally.

"Yes?" I bit the inside of my cheek. Here comes the verdict.

"You're pregnant." Well, duh. "Am I the father?"

"I think so."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"I need a beer."


	4. Chapter 4

We left the café and walked in silence to a pub in the area. I knew that it would be easier for him to process the news if he got some alcohol in his system. It sounded bad, but that was the way he was. As we entered the pub, his phone rang. He looked at the display and sighed before picking it up. I caught a glimpse of the display too, and sighed with him.

"Hi honey."

Since when did Logan Huntsberger become a person who answers his phone with "hi honey"? Did I even know the man standing beside me? Maybe this was a terrible idea. I hadn't considered Odette's part in this, I mostly saw her as an afterthought. Because the main problem was me, Logan, and the baby. We were supposed to be endgame, right? I never even considered Odette as a long-term solution for him. Maybe I bagged Logan, as Paris once so delicately put it, but he choose someone else? Was that possible? Perhaps I didn't even have such a big part of Logan's life as I thought.

"I'll be working late tonight." He grimaced to me and motioned for me to order. "Sorry, love. I know I've been working a lot lately. Yes, we do need to plan need the wedding."

I tried not to eavesdrop but I couldn't help feeling pleased when I overheard their problems. I ordered two pints and brought them to the table where Logan was already seated. He was still on the phone.

"I know, Odette. But it's an important meeting. Yes, I know. I'll see you tonight. Yes. Bye, honey."

He put the phone down on the table and switched it to silent mode. Then he smiled at me before remembering why we were really there and sighed and took a big gulp of his beer. I've never heard him sigh this much before.

"She gets rather protective," he tried to excuse the phone call.

"I get it, I used to be like that too."

"No Ace, you weren't," he smiled at me. "You were perfect, you trusted me but didn't let me do stupid things. I could always trust you."

His words made my mouth go dry. I was experiencing all the things I did when we first started dating. I had to make this stop.

"But she trusts you, right? Odette."

"Yeah, I guess so." He scratched his neck and then stopped mid-movement, like he caught himself. Maybe Odette was the one who changed him. Maybe I was insignificant. The lump in my throat began expanding. "But, Rory. You're pregnant."

"Yes. But you don't have to feel any responsibility."

He took another sip of his beer. Mine remained untouched. "I'm going to be a father." He nodded a bit. "I'm going to have to tell Odette." He nodded a bit more. "I don't know how she's going to take it."

My heart trembled inside my chest. "But you love each other, right? You can make it through if you really love each other. I think we both know that to be true."

He focused his stare on me again. And my heart started beating _fast_. "Yes, we do."


	5. Chapter 5

It was getting late. Our table was full of empty glasses. We'd been beating around the bush for a couple of hours. Talking about everything else than what I came to tell him. He was laughing at a memory from college when I felt that it was enough. I looked at the clock, the place was closing in an hour.

"Hey, Logan, it's getting really late." I tried nudging him softly, but he didn't respond. He was so incredibly drunk. It reminded me of all times I'd have to take care of him after a late night out. "Logan, isn't Odette at home waiting for you?"

"Odette. Yes, I think she is." He unlocked his phone, still laughing about the stupid joke. "Oh."

"What? What's wrong?"

"I have thirty-seven missed calls from Odette." His laughter died.

"Call her now, then? She's probably really worried about you." I know I would be.

He reached for the call list but stopped midway. He looked up at me. His wrinkle between the eyebrows deepened and his eyes seemed to zone out.

"What if don't want to call her back? Should I still do it?" What was he doing? It was his fiancée for God's sake.

"She's probably really worried, Logan! Besides, why wouldn't you want to call her?" He had a sort of pained expression on his face.

"I don't want to…" What didn't he want? "I don't want to be with her." Why was he doing this to me? He couldn't just blurt out things like that, I might take them seriously. I didn't have enough chains around my emotions to be able to listen to him saying that without thinking that there might be a chance. Which there wasn't.

"Come on, Logan." I stood up and motioned for him to do the same. He put his head in his hands before sighing - once again. He finally stood up and followed me out from the pub.

Once we were out on the street, the cold air cleared my head.

"Okay, you were on an important business meeting. It was a success. You went out to celebrate with the guys, things got out of hand. You realise your mistake and promise to call next time it happens. Okay?"

Logan seemed to be far, far away. He was looking out at the horizon. I was instantly hit with this surreal feeling again: who was this man in front of me? I nudged him in an attempt to bring him back to earth.

"Okay, Logan?"

"Yes. I'll see you Ace." He began taking a few steps toward the trafficked street.

"Logan, " I called out for him. He turned around. Smiled.

No, this was the same Logan, the same man I knew, the same man I've always loved. It was his smile. His wonderful smile that somehow calmed me in the middle of this chaotic mess. "Promise to call me tomorrow?"

"Ace, I wouldn't be able to resist even if I tried."

And then he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

When I finally got to my hotel room I stood in the door a few moments before realising the extent of my problems and then I decided to collapse on the bed. The noise of the loudest groan ever filled the room. I looked at the watch on my phone. My mom would be up by now, so I decided to call her.

It only rang two rings before she picked up.

"I'm standing in the kitchen and we're out of pop tarts. I thought the point of marriage was that my husband would always remind me to buy pop tarts so we'd never be out."

I heard Luke speaking in the background. "I did remind you! You said you picked them up last night."

"Well, I lied because I was tired and wanted to get home and watch _The Returned_. As my husband you're supposed to be able to tell!"

Luke groaned in the background. God, I wished I was home. Everything seemed easier in Stars Hollow. "Hey, mom, do you have a moment?"

"Yes, of course kiddo", I heard her close the kitchen door and go out to the porch. "What's up?"

"I met with Logan tonight."

"How did it go?" The concern in her voice was evident and it made me feel better for some reason.

"I don't know." I sighed. "He got pretty drunk."

"That doesn't say much though, kid. Isn't that pretty usual when it comes to Logan?"

"Well yeah, that's what I thought too. He promised to call tomorrow though. He didn't say anything exactly, but I overheard a phone call…"

"Uh oh."

"Yeah. It sounded like they were having some problems."

"I'll always be on your side, honey, but remember that you've been in a similar situation before. You know, Dean. And that didn't really turn out great."

"Yes, I know. But… this is Logan. It's different." Her silence said a thousand words. "It _is_ different."

"What do you want him to do? Do you want him to take responsibility?"

"I don't know, that's kind of the problem. I don't want to break up his marriage, but I want him to be some sort of father." That was a lie. I had just lied to my mother. But it was for her own good. Or was it?

"Well, you need to figure it out honey. Just shout when you need help and I'll be there."

"I might need a movies-and-eat-as-much-junk-food-as-you-can-night soon." I heard her smile, it was calming to know that she smiled. She seemed so much happier nowadays, I hoped I could share that soon.

"That we can arrange. Bye honey."

"Bye mom."

Well, as much as I loved my mom, that didn't help as much as I'd hoped. I'd just have to wait for his call. It felt like I was going backwards - waiting at home all day for a guy to call? No, I had to do something. Maybe I could meet some friends or do a job, I did need money. But how would I concentrate with this weight over my head?

Finally, I decided to sleep - it was 3 am. I fell into an uneasy sleep, and dreamt about Logan. I could never escape that boy. Although, I don't think I ever wanted to.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up at ten o'clock. I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and looked through the notifications. Just news alerts and celebrity activity. No messages. I scrolled through my Instagram feed and there were no news. Well, no news other than Lane posting cute photos of the twins.

Since I was too tired to go out, I ordered room service. I had had no morning sickness yet and I was so incredibly thankful for that. Then I proceeded to go into writing mode. Writing mode nowadays included drinking several large cups of coffee, staring at a blank page and scroll through my Pinterest feed once every five minutes. Not even my recently added screen saver - a motivational penguin cheering "you can do it, I believe in you" - could cheer me up.

I pondered over the book situation, I wrote a few scenes involving Tristan and Paris, and went blank whenever I got to the Jess scenes. When all the coffee the hotel had provided me with ran out, I knew I had to do something. I found myself going through my call list. When my thumb pressed Jess Mariano I dropped it on the desk in chock.

What was I doing? I couldn't call Jess? But then again, why couldn't I? He was my friend, sort of. This whole book was his idea. If I struggled he should be the first I'd call, right? We had had our differences in the past and he had broken my heart, but that was _years_ ago, why did I keep myself from contacting him?

With new determination, I picked up the phone again and called the number.

"Hey, Rory?" He said as a question, he had been surprised to hear from me.

"Hey, Jess. What's up? Is this a good time?"

"Yeah, I'm not doing much. Just finished my shift."

"Great. Um, how are you?" I had to be civil. It sort of felt like I was using him.

"I'm doing okay. How, um, are you?" Well, he still wasn't very chatty. I guess I just had to get it over with.

"I'm fine. I'm just kind of struggling a bit with the book." I felt my cheeks go pink.

"Ah, the book." I heard him smile. "Have you caught the mysterious fever called Writer's Block?"

"I suppose I have. I've just reached the Chilton part of my life, and I just can't seem to describe it."

"Hm, what about it exactly?"

"It's a character." He laughed.

"It's not me is it?" My cheeks went scarlet. I remained quiet. "It's me?" He laughed again. "Well, Rory, I can understand that it's hard to describe my effortless wit, gorgeous smile and soul-searching eyes."

"To not mention your crippling modesty. But it's not really that… I've been having a hard time describing our relationship, since I don't really know how you felt…"

"But, that's not true, you know how I felt."

"No? You never said anything." This was so awkward but I had to understand.

"I might not have said it, but you knew. You knew I love you."

"But we were never really exclusive. Just for a while and it wasn't very open nor lasting. And then you left, you know." Did he really say love in present tense?

"Yeah, but you knew. So if you want to describe our relationship, just think of the feelings you have for Logan now and describe them." Ouch. How did he even know that?

"I don't have any feelings for Logan. He's engaged."

"Maybe if you stop lying to yourself you'll be able to write again." He was brutally honest. I knew that when I decided to call him, but I thought I could take it. But it hurt. And he was right.

"Well, thank you for the advice. Bye." I ended the phone call. Was he right? I was lying to myself. I did love Logan. But did Jess still have feelings for me? I shut the laptop, my head wasn't blank anymore, but it was filled with the wrong thoughts and ideas.

I lied down on the bed and shut my eyes. Logan hadn't even called yet. He might never. I was trapped in a hotel room, all alone except the presence of all my problems. I contemplated going home, fleeing. But in Stars Hollow was Jess, and he had just become a problem too. I was about to take a long, fulfilling and wasteful nap when my phone rang.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, Ace." He spoke quickly, and breathed fast.

"Hey, what's happening? Where are you?"

"Well, I told Odette. So now I'm not my way home from work." He sounded stressed.

"You told her this morning? Why didn't you call me until now?"

"I just told her. That's why I'm heading home, to meet her."

"Logan. Huntsberger. _Please_ tell me you didn't tell her over the phone?"

"I can't do that. Because I did tell her over the phone." He did sound embarrassed, but still got furious.

"That is so extremely cowardly! She must be so angry with you."

"She freaked out. She called her family in Paris, and they know my father, so he is on his way to my house. He's angry, Rory, really angry. Odette's dad is really important for his company, so if I screw this up… Well, he won't be happy."

"Logan, why didn't you tell me all this yesterday?"

"It wouldn't have helped. Anyway, I'm calling you now. This is just an update, I have to go home and deal with the situation."

"How did she react, Logan, when you told her?"

He was quiet for a moment.

"She started crying. Not the crying you see in movies when the girl finds out that he cheated, the one with the throwing stuff and the screaming and the eating ice-cream. She was just so disappointed in me. And I got so disappointed in myself. I haven't grown up at all, have I? I'm still the Logan Huntsberger you met at Yale all those years ago." His voice cracked.

"Logan, that's not true. You have changed so much. I'm coming over to your house. You can't be alone in this."

"No. Rory, you can't come. I have to deal with this, it's my mess."

"No, it's my mess to. You know I can stand up to your father, I've done it before."

"That's true, Ace. I think you're one of the few in this world. But I have to do this on my own, because I have to finally grow up. I can't marry someone because of my father."

"But… you're not, right? You love her?" I couldn't help myself.

"Right, yes, I do. But I don't think she'll love me for much longer. I'll call you, Ace."

"Yes, call me. Bye Logan."

The line went dead. I destroyed Logan's life by coming here. He would have been much better off without knowing this. I could've raised the child alone, I could've left him out of it. This was all my fault. I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. No. I had to help. I grabbed my coat and rushed out of the room.


	9. Chapter 9

It was raining outside and cars everywhere. I ran to Logan's apartment with the umbrella clinging tightly to my umbrella. The fog and traffic added to the dramatic effect of my run, but it was extremely distracting, I was close to falling on my butt several times. At last, I reached his apartment complex. I pressed the button to the elevator but decided against waiting and dripping all over the floor, so I ran up the stairs. Why the heck did he live on the seventh floor? Why didn't he anticipate a situation like this?

When I reached his door, I immediately noticed that something was off. The door wasn't properly closed and I could here shouting from the living room. I froze with the hand on the door knob. Would my presence really improve the situation? Maybe I wasn't supposed to be there… Maybe Logan would even get mad. Maybe I should've turned around and left… But I didn't.

I pulled the door open, and carefully closed it behind me.

 _Should I announce my presence?_

 _"Hello everyone, this is Rory, hello Mitchum I believe we've met before, oh yes hello odette yes I am the mother of your fiancés unborn child, yes pleased to meet you to."_

Yeah, maybe not.

I took a few steps toward the living room.

"How could you do this Logan? You are not a child anymore, at least you're not supposed to be! I allowed you to work for me on the basis of you actually deserving the job. Maybe it's time for you to finally learn to be independent. But we both know you can't do it, you can't even live apart from your fiancée in six months without cheating on her! How _stupid_ can you be?" Odette was crying in the background. I was walking into a battle field.

When i reached the doorway, I stopped. Mitchum was pacing around the room, Logan was sitting in the sofa with his head in his hands, and Odette was standing by the large windows, sobbing. What first struck me was how incredibly beautiful she was, even with a red tear-streaked face she could easily have been walking down the runway. I felt ugly as I stood there, my mascara running down my cheeks and pyjamas under my coat. Then I reminded myself that there was no point in comparing myself to her, we were so different, and so beautiful in different ways.

Nobody noticed me, and Mitchum was still screaming. I've only seen Logan this vulnerable once before, and that was when he had avoided going to work after a mistake just after college, he was scared to own up to what he did. But this was different, since now he really was aware that he had done wrong, and that he would never be able to forget it. I decided I had to ease the pain in some way.

"Mr Huntsberger, I don't think your shouting is doing anyone any good." Their heads snapped in my direction. I spotted fury, sadness, and relief.

"Rory, what do you think you're doing here?" Mitchum was still furious.

"I just had to come to say my piece. I have not come here to demand that Logan take responsibility for the child, I just came to inform about the news, since I thought you should know. Logan doesn't have to take any part in his or her life. You can all go back to living your marvellous lives without us. There's no obligation Mitchum, and I won't come begging for money. So you can stop worrying about your fortune. I understand that you don't want it associated with the Gilmore name anymore than I do."

"Well, thank you Rory, but Logan still has to take responsibility for the infidelity."

"That's true, but hasn't he already though?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"I think this problem is between him and Odette, you and I have no business here. They need to talk it over, by themselves. So, shall we leave?" Mitchum stared at me murderously, I noticed that it didn't scare me as much anymore, I had nothing to lose. I gestured to the door, and a few minutes of intense silence later, he actually left. I caught Logan shooting me a grateful look before I also left.

I left the apartment building as soon as possible, I didn't want to spend anymore time with Mitchum than I had to. I returned to my hotel room and sat down on the bed. Relief washed over me, I couldn't believe I had been able to say everything I wanted to without being tongue-tied. Now I had nothing left to do but to return to Stars Hollow and raise my child with my mom by my side. I was surprisingly OK with this.

I had just pulled my bag out of the wardrobe to begin packing when my phone rang. That thing would never let me leave this place. It was Logan.

"Hey, how did it go?"

"It went okay. Thank you so much for getting my father out of there, Odette and I managed to talk it over." He tripped over the words, he sounded exhausted. I was happy for him and Odette, but still I wondered what had happened in the alternative universe where we end up together.

"I'm glad. Could she forgive you?"

"Yes, she could. But… I can't forgive myself. And… I love her to much to force her to put up with my behaviour. I care about her too much to stay with her when I have feelings for someone else." What was he saying? Did they break up?

"Logan… Did you break up?"

"Yeah. We did." My heart broke for him at the same time as my blood furiously began pumping faster.

"I'm so so sorry, is there anything I can do for you?"

"Can you stay a little bit longer in London?" It meant a lot to him if he was able to ask that, he usually was careful with letting me choose where to go and what to do. He never wanted it to feel like he forced me to be here, he'd always loved the thought of people choosing to be with you for you. Maybe it was since he always had had much money.

"Yes, of course. I'm here for you Logan."

"Good." I heard him smile. I was so happy that I smiled for the first time that day too. "And, Ace… I'm sorry for the inconvenient timing, but you should know that… I still love you."


	10. Chapter 10

I full on lost my voice. I couldn't speak the words, I couldn't think the thoughts. He loved me. Silence. First, I thought the line was dead, but no, he was waiting for an answer.

I loved him.

"Logan. You just broke up with someone you were _engaged_ to. This isn't inconvenient timing, this is inappropriate on so many levels."

"I know! I know that. But I do love you, and I think that, deep down, you love me too."

"Logan, I can't really deal with this right now. I have to think things over, we broke up for a reason all those years ago."

"What reason? We chose not to be together because of distance, then other relationships, but we always loved each other!"

"But did we really love each other if we were able to spend all those years apart?" The tears were streaming down my face. I was saying things that I didn't know that I thought. Everything was true, but my whole body ached and screamed at me to stop. Because I did love him, but we couldn't be together at the moment.

"I've always loved you. I never stopped loving you." His voice cracked, and I heard him sniffle.

"That's nice and all, but you managed to get engaged whilst loving me, and I think that says something."

"I don't think it says anything. All I know is that I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Rory."

"I don't think I can stay in London much longer, after all. I'm sorry, but I think I need some time."

"Rory, please, stay."

"I'll catch a flight tomorrow. This is not a real answer, this isn't goodbye. I just need some time, okay?"

"Yeah. Sure. Will you call me?" He sniffled again, and wiped his nose.

"Yeah, I'll call you." I tried wiping the tears from under my eyes, but they kept coming.

"Tomorrow?"

"I don't know. But I'll call you."

"Ace." He sighed. "I'm sorry. For everything. I just want us to be together."

"I know. I know you mean well. It's just… a lot. Bye, Logan."

"Bye Rory." I ended the phone call.

I let out a deep breath. That was one of the hardest things I'd done. Before I, or anyone else, could change my mind, I threw everything I had in the bag and zipped it up. I ran to the tube and went directly to the airport. I booked a ticket, I still had some money left after the apartment I sold, and sat down to wait. Eight hours. How was I going to spend eight hours without thinking, rethinking, questioning, solving, analysing, and overanalysing the situation? I passed the time at the gate with a herbal tea from Starbucks, and questioning why anyone would drink that. How did people survive without coffee? This pregnancy was going to hard.

I thought of my mom. I had texted her and said that I was coming. She asked how everything had turned out, but I just answered that I'd tell her later. I didn't know what to tell her, though. How could I even explain everything that had happened in such a short period of time? I had to start thinking about my future. _Our_ future. Mine and the baby's.


	11. Chapter 11

Everything was the same back in Stars Hollow. The first day was hard, evidently you can't hide anything too long from Miss Patty and Babette, no matter how hard you tried. I spent several days telling them: yes I'm pregnant, and no I don't know who the father is, and no I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. It was kind of exhausting, but also quite relaxing and familiar after the chaotic days I spent in London.

I had made the decision to stay in Stars Hollow, or at least the States, until the birth. All the long flights and changing of time zones were really taking a toll on me. My mom had welcomed me home with open arms and Luke hadn't waited a second before baby proofing the whole house. I felt so safe and happy back home, but there was a problem. Logan hadn't stopped calling since I left. I knew that he _wanted_ to be able to give me space, but he just couldn't do it. It was sort of nice knowing that he missed me, but I had to make a decision.

I spent the days home, at Luke's or at the Inn, writing. I had come a long way on the book, but I was worrying about the ending. Where did I want to end it? It would be philosophical ending it with the pregnancy since it'd be a circular plot, our wouldn't it be enough? Maybe a better ending was yet to come, but it was difficult to just sit around and wait for it. It was a dilemma, but I wrote and planned meanwhile.

A week after my return, I finally woke up with determination. I had made a decision about my future. I was going to call Logan that day and tell him. It had been unfair to make him wait this long already. I sat down on our porch and called him. It was ten o'clock at home so he'd be at work. It rang two tones before he picked up.

"Rory?" He sounded surprised.

"Hi, Logan."

"You called." I felt so bad for him in that moment, I hadn't even thought about how he must be feeling.

"Yes, I'm sorry for waiting so long. But I've come to a decision."

"Before you say anything, Rory. I just want to say that I know what I did was wrong, I put you in a horrible position. But I love you. And I will respect your decision, but I miss you so much and I hope that we can put the past behind us." He took a breath. It had been a rehearsed speech. My heart ached for him.

"Logan. Firstly, I'm going to be living in Stars Hollow until the birth."

"Yes, yes. That's sounds very reasonable." He was really nervous for my next words.

"And… I don't think we should be together at the moment."

"But…"

"No, wait. I don't think we should be together until we can both begin the next phase in our lives. You just got out of a really serious relationship, and I've been a bit lost lately. Before we can be together, I need to finish my book. I have to sort everything out and move on before I can commit to something. I have some stuff to figure out. Does this sound… OK?"

"Yes." He was crying again. How could I even breath when I was hurting someone I loved so much? I knew I was doing the right thing, and that it had taken a lot of work, but it hurt so extremely much. "I understand. I don't agree, but I understand. I miss you, Rory."

"I miss you too. We'll keep in touch, right?"

"I wouldn't want to miss a single thing," he smiled and wiped his tear. "I demand updates."

I laughed a bit. "I won't spare you any details."

"I love you."

"I miss you."

"I'll be waiting for my invitation."

"I'll be writing constantly from now on."

"I hope so. Bye, Ace."

"Bye, Logan."

We hung up. That went surprisingly okay. I knew it'd be hard, but I also knew that it was right. We had to be ready before we could commit. Otherwise it wouldn't end well, and I needed for this to work. Because I loved him. So much. Now I'd just had to write. All day, every day. To finish this book and enter the next phase of my life with the love of my life, and our baby.


	12. Chapter 12

The days passed by. I spent them writing on the book, watching movies with my mom, and researching for the baby. There was so much to prepare. I wasn't alone, I had my mom, my grandma, and all our friends, but I still felt like someone was missing. I knew in the back of my mind that it was Logan that was missing, but I also knew that I had to become more independent to be able to live with myself and others.

It was a Wednesday afternoon. I was sitting at Luke's with my laptop and some pancakes (I had managed to get him to serve me breakfast all day on the basis that I was pregnant and had cravings. It wasn't necessarily true, but I did love Luke's pancakes.) when Jess walked in. It was actually weird that we hadn't met before that day, but I suppose we had both been avoiding each other. This time, though, that wasn't possible.

"Hey," he walked up to my table. I knew that I couldn't postpone this awkward conversation any longer, so I motioned for him to sit down.

"Hi there." I shut my laptop to signal that this was going to be real talk. He got the hint and immediately plunged into an apology.

"So, about that phone call, maybe I was too blunt…" I could see that it took a lot for him to say this, and I greatly appreciated the effort.

"Look, you were only telling the truth. I didn't know it then, but I know it now. I should've realised that when I called you, that I was going to get the whole truth. I just wasn't prepared for it, and that's not your fault." He nodded a bit, like he knew I was right.

"Yeah, well. Still, I want you to be able to call me whenever, and not just when you need brutal honesty and help with your book." That made me smile, this was a new Jess Mariano. And I really liked him.

"I would like that too." We smiled at each other for a few moments. I was trying really hard to suppress the present tense 'love you'. Apparently, so was he.

"So, how's that book coming?" He took a raspberry from my pancake plate.

"Well, it's a lot harder than I imagined it to be. I'm becoming increasingly impressed with you, by the way."

"I'm so flattered, Rory. Really, thank you." He put his hand on his heart and fluttered with his eye lids. I'd missed his sarcasm, I really had.

The hours flew by. The conversation was easy-going and I realised how much I had missed our talks. I had missed Jess. He helped me a lot with the writing. By the time Luke started serving dinner, I had a new plan with the book. My legs were starting to feel restless, so we decided to leave and take a walk around Stars Hollow. We walked in silence for a few minutes.

"Maybe we should talk about that phone call after all…" he said as we passed Miss Patty's studio. He wasn't usually the one to dwell on the past nor the one who liked to discuss feelings, this must've been really important to him. "I know that you noticed my… wording."

I laughed uncomfortably. "I noticed. But I knew it was just a mistake, so it's OK."

"That's the thing." He stopped and grabbed my arm to make me stay as well. "It wasn't a mistake." And then he did something that was so alike the old Jess. He kissed me. At first I was struck by the nostalgia and the suppressing of old feelings. Then it hit me that this was Jess. And that we weren't seventeen years old anymore. And then I finally pulled away.

"Jess…"

"No, I know, Rory. I know that you're in love with him, but I think you should think it over. Because I love you. And I know that we'd be great together." He didn't let go of my arms.

"Jess…"

"You don't have to say anything now, just promise you'll think about it." His dark eyes pierced my soul.

"Yes, fine… I'll think about it." And then he was gone.

Why couldn't anything be easy? A couple of hours earlier I had been so happy to get my friend back, and now I was more confused than ever. I was desperate to finish the novel. When that was done, I'd have all the answers. I hoped.


	13. Chapter 13

The following days I didn't even leave the house. I sat in my bed and wrote, except for the occasional toilet and pop tart breaks. The book was really coming together. The confusion in my life and relationships really helped me focus on the story itself. Mostly because I was trying to suppress my real life problems.

Saturday night, at 3 am.

That was when I finished my first draft. My whole life in writing was displayed before me on my computer. Every word had been carefully picked out to convey the story of me, my life, and everyone in it. I was pleased. I allowed myself a moment of complete bliss. It wasn't perfect, I would have to revise and edit and rethink everything at least twice before I would be really happy with it. But I allowed myself a moment of happiness - before making sure I'd saved the document and backed it up.

I fell asleep and for the first time in a while, I slept the whole night without nightmares and fussy fever dreams. When I woke up, I put on the stereo and blasted my favourite songs and danced around the house. I had a huge grin on my face and kept on thinking of how embarrassed I'd be if someone was to see me then. But I kept on dancing. And I was happy, really happy. Because I had finally finished my book, and I had gotten the answers I wanted.

I tried to call him ten times the following two hours, but he didn't pick up. At first I got really worried that something had happened to him, and then I got really angry at him for ignoring me, and finally I got really worried again. I contemplated calling someone to ask if they had heard something of an accident, but I decided to wait a few hours before I was sure he wasn't sleeping or something.

The sun was on its way down when I got dressed and left the house for the first time in days. I went directly to the Inn. It was full of guests who sat inside to avoid the cold, I met Michel in the hall.

"Rory," he said displeased.

"Hi Michel!"

"What are you doing here? I can't handle two of you in the same house, I'm already having a terrible day."

"Oh, how so?"

"Well, I was going to spend the weekend with my boyfriend in the country side. Not the country you're thinking of, a spa two miles from the coast, but anyway. And now, he calls me and tells me that we have to visit his parents instead, because his mother is sick or something of the sort. I think she had a cold." He sighed and I suppressed a smile. "And I haven't had a mud bath for a week, can you imagine?"

"Yes, that must really be awful."

"Anyways, and your mother has been walking around all happy, which just makes it even worse."

"I'm sorry Michel, I hope it works out." I started walking towards the kitchen.

"Fine then, just leave me here. I just poured my heart out and you walk away!"

I suppressed a laugh and went into the kitchen. My mom was leaning on the counter with a coffee cup in her hand, talking to Sookie who were cutting vegetables - without looking down on her hands.

"Hi guys." They turned around and grinned.

"Rory!"

"Guess what? I finished my book." Cookie squealed of excitement and my mom just smiled, a big, proud, toothy smile.

"I'm so proud of you, honey." When my mom had understood how much the book meant to me, she had really turned around. She still hadn't read anything, but she had been really supportive.

"Thanks. I mean, it's nowhere near done, but I wrote it. I wrote it all." I couldn't really express the euphoria I felt at that moment, but, judging by their smiles, they understood.

"So… Does this mean that you can call him?"

"I actually tried to call him. Several times. But he didn't pick up." I could see the same passive aggressive feelings flash in my mom's eyes, she had come to like him, but she could be quick to go back to her previous judgement when he did something wrong. "I was kind of worried that something had happened to him."

"I don't think so, honey, just try him a bit later."

"Does this mean that I can plan another wedding cake? Because I have this great idea for a Frozen cake with Olaf…"

"Maybe we shouldn't start planning the cake yet, Sookie." I smiled at her, I had missed her when she was away. Mom, Sookie and Michel seemed to be closer than ever. They were making plans and organising for expanding the Inn, and were always pitching each other crazy ideas. "I'm gonna grab a coffee and then go home, I want to start editing as soon as possible."

"OK, see you tonight. How do you feel about Chinese?"

"Only if we order it from Al's."

"Why, of course. Why eat Chinese that actually taste the way it should?"

I left them in the kitchen and went into the dining hall. And then I stopped. Because, apart from the guests at the tables and in the sofas, there was another person in the room. Logan was standing in the doorway, looking all kinds of beautiful. He looked out of place, standing still, with a bouquet of red roses in his hand. He seemed sad, excited and worried. I didn't even care that it was cliché, I was so happy that he was there. He seemed to somehow notice my presence, and looked up, directly at me. We locked eyes, and I knew I wouldn't stand being apart from him anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

I didn't say anything, I just went across the room, took his hand, and led him out of the house, down to the stables. No-one was over there, we were completely alone - except for the two gigantic horses breathing heavily down our backs. I could tell he was nervous, he didn't know what the nature of our talk was going to be. He didn't know if I were to tell him that I loved him, or that I never wanted to see him again.

We stood in silence for a couple of moments, kicking around the hay, searching for words. Who was going to break the silence? I was the one with a verdict, but he had been the one to show-up unannounced. I wanted to tell him everything, about how I loved him and had come to the realisation that I wouldn't be able to live without him any longer. But… something stopped me. I wanted him to explain himself first. I didn't even know how he was feeling at this point.

"Rory. I'm sorry for coming here, even though I'd promised I'd wait." He looked so entirely remorseful for his actions. I felt for him. Before he had the chance to continue I closed the space between us and went straight for his lips. It was careful at first, he slowly cupped my head in his hands and gently stroked my hair. But then it changed. We had been apart for so long, and not just in distance. The kiss deepened and I felt the desperation and the brutal _need_ for more on the edge of my tongue. He held my waist and pushed himself against me. I grabbed his hair and pushed back. The kiss expressed all the thoughts we'd been holding back. All the emotions we'd been suppressing.

At last, we pulled away to try to speak to each other, but not completely. We we're always touching each other in different ways while talking. We held hands and played with each others fingers. He would hug my arm when he was telling something really important and wanted my full attention. Then we collapsed on the floor, either me on his lap, or his head in my lap. We just couldn't tear apart from each other in more than two seconds. We were in a rapid pace becoming one of those couples that you see in public places and just have utter hatred for, the ones you immediately envy even though they haven't really done anything wrong.

Finally, we decided to get going, my mom would be done working by now and she didn't know where I was.

"Want to stop by Luke's?" he asked whilst playing with my hair.

"Yeah, sure. But you should know that I've been trying to cut down on the coffee, for the baby."

"Are you serious, Ace? You don't drink any coffee?" He looked at me in total disbelief.

"I said that I was trying, not succeeding." He laughed a genuine, playful, sweet laugh and I saw the Logan I had missed for so long.

We ended up going by Luke's anyway. We bought hot chocolates and avoided people's stares. Luke wasn't there, he was probably at home with my mom. When we left and started to walk home I saw Jess standing on the other side of the town square. He stood out of the ordinary picture because he was standing completely still, staring at _us_. My whole body went cold. Even though I didn't love Jess or wanted to spend my life with him, it didn't mean that I didn't feel deeply for him and never wanted to see him hurt. I imagined what this must have looked like, me parading around town with a different guy only a week after he proclaimed his love for me.

I lifted my hand for a half-hearted wave. I thought that was enough, so I started walking again. Logan was clueless to what had happened, he was rambling on about Finn's adventure in Uruguay. I was laughing at Finn's ability to get into crazy situations when I saw something in the corner of my eye. It was Jess. He was quickly walking across the square, towards us. His hands were formed into fists and he was slowly sending us waves of pain with his glare. Logan finally noticed him too, and stopped in the middle of the street. I pressed my eyes shut for just a second to try and imagine it all away. This was so not happening right now.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey Jess." A pathetic attempt at defusing the awkwardness of the situation.

"Rory. What is he doing here?" He jerked his head in Logan's direction. I instantly concluded that this was the Jess I didn't like.

"I have a name, thank you," Logan interjected. Oh God. This wasn't going to end well.

"I'm aware. What are you doing here, _Logan_?" This was so childish. Why were these two grown men 'fighting over a girl' on the street? It felt like a musical, a movie, or better yet, a playground.

"I'm here with Rory, to raise _our_ baby together. The real question is: what are you doing here Jess? Isn't it a bit pathetic to chase after a girl who doesn't want you?" Stone cold.

"You should know all about that. From what I hear you were the one who got his proposal denied." They really had no mercy.

Logan finally lost his temper, he wasn't as used to provoking as Jess. Jess breathed provocation. "But that wasn't real. That was just because Rory didn't know what she really wanted."

"Hey, that's not true!" I intervened. "I knew what I wanted then, just as I know what I want now."

"Oh man, it seems like you really are imagining things." Jess laughed.

"I am not! It's been ten years since then, can you back off?" Logan was shouting but Jess just laughed in his face.

All of it reminded me of that time, all those years ago, when Dean was jealous of my relationship with Jess. It was exactly like this, two guys turning on each other because of me. Why did this always happen? Although, maybe I should've acknowledged the common factor: me. Was I the one who couldn't keep relationships? Was I self-destructing? Was this a pattern I'd overlooked? And, what about Paul? I had initiated another relationship when I was supposed to be with him. Was I the one in the wrong?

The men continued their petty fight, without a single comment from me. I wasn't present, I was in another world. I was taking a walk down memory lane, looking at all my previous relationships. And it wasn't a jolly ride.

Dean.

Tristan.

Jess.

Marty.

Logan.

Paul.

I realised that I had always blamed the circumstances. But these men were so different people, I was the same. Maybe it was time for me to realise that I was wrong. That I had to be able to be in a relationship before jumping into one.

Dean had been perfect, but I messed up. Tristan was also a mistake I made when heartbroken over another. Jess and I helped each other develop, but it was never a real relationship. I didn't even realise Marty liked me at the time, or maybe I just didn't want to see it.

And Logan. Well, when we were dating I never really accepted him for who he was. I was trying to change him, even though I had fallen in love with the person he was. I was destroying the one I loved by influencing him too much.

Oh, and Paul. I had been such an asshole to him. I didn't think I ever even responded to the break-up text he sent. I needed to apologise to him - big time.

But there I stood, rethinking my whole existence, watching two people who were in love with me fight for my attention and devotion, not realising that I wasn't enough for them. How could I have thought that I was able to engage in "holy matrimony" if I hadn't even gotten to know myself thoroughly?

Now that I had, though. And I knew what I had to do. I had to apologise to a bunch of people, including myself, for self-destructing and letting it affect others. I still wanted desperately to be with Logan. But we had to accept each other first. The baby couldn't be the only reason for us to be together. If that was the case, it wasn't enough.

"Stop it. Both of you. I owe you an apology." They stood dumbfounded for a moment before turning to me, finally realising that I was still there. "Jess, I'm so sorry. I think we're better as friends. We both made mistakes all those years ago, and you've helped me through some though times. I'm so immensely grateful for that, but… I don't think we're meant to be. I know you'll think this is bullshit but I think it's true. And I love you, you'll always be a part of me. We were once great together, but that's all it'll ever be, something that happened a long time ago."

I waited patiently for his response. At last, he nodded. Because he knew, as well as I, that I was right. He didn't say anything, but something in the air shifted. Even though it wasn't okay, it might be with time. When he had walked away, I turned to Logan. He looked a bit too smug for my taste.

"Logan. I owe you an apology as well. I continued seeing you even though you were with someone else. That wasn't right for me, you or Odette. Still, I blamed you for us splitting up when she moved in with you. I also need to apologise for trying to change you. I love you. Not despite your flaws, but them included. I won't change who you are for us to work together. Because I think we can work even so."

"Rory, I'm a better man because of you. I need you. Even though it means that I'll have to change, because you make me better." He seemed so incredibly sincere, he really thought it was better for us to go back to what we were before.

"But I don't want to change you." I held the tears back.

"Maybe I'm not the only one who's changing. Maybe I'm changing you too. Have you thought of that? Maybe we're both changing so we can be better together." He sounded strong - utterly convinced. Like he saw no other truth and just wanted me to see it too.

His words rang through my ears. _Maybe_. I didn't know. But I loved him. Maybe that could be enough.


	16. Chapter 16

When we came home, we ate with my mom and Luke. We laughed, talked and joked, we didn't mention Jess at all. We saw a movie, but I started yawning like crazy before I even understood what it was about. They decided to call it a night and we went to bed. But I couldn't sleep. Logan lied snoring in the bed, but I sat in a chair by the window.

Everything was happening so fast. I thought the book would solve it all, but the complications in my life seemed to be buried deep within me. When I had sat in this chair before, I had imagined my life. Harvard. A small newspaper. A big newspaper. A better position. A stable job. A husband. A baby. In that order. So many things hadn't gone as planned, maybe it had been for the best. Where would I be if I hadn't met the people at Yale? If I hadn't covered the Obama campaign? If I hadn't written all those articles? Would I have managed to write a novel? Or reunite with my college boyfriend? Maybe it all had come in a strange order, and maybe everything wasn't perfect. But sitting there by the window, I came to the conclusion that I was happy.

So much had happened, so much had gone wrong. But I was happy. Because I had my mom, my grandmother, Logan, my book, and our baby. I wasn't alone. Yet, I was independent. I could take care of myself if I needed to. But at the same time, I could accept help from my friends. I had reached my goal. I had also realised something about myself and my past. I now knew what had gone wrong, I now knew who I was and what I wanted. I wanted freedom. Freedom to be myself, do what I want, and choose the people I want to spend my life with. I had had my differences with my mom, my grandmother, Logan and everyone else. But we'd gotten through it. And we were all still standing together today.

For once in my life, I hadn't made a decision based on impulse. I hadn't even solved the issue by making pro and con lists. I had managed solely by listening to my heart. Even though it might have sounded self-centred, I was proud of myself.

Logan moved around in the bed. He reached for the other side and searched for my sleeping body. When he didn't find it, he confusedly fumbled around. Then he slowly opened his eyes, trying to find me without actually being fully awake. I smiled at him, he looked so extremely cute. He saw me sitting by the window and noticed my smile. He smiled too, without even knowing what was going on. Waking up a little, he reached for his glasses on the bedside table. His hair was messy and he squinted his eyes a bit to see me clearly.

"What are you doing up? What time is it?" He pressed the home button on his phone to see the time. "Three o'clock. Honey, isn't it time to go to bed?"

"Maybe. I couldn't sleep." He scratched the back of his head, still unsure of what was up and what was down.

"What were you doing?"

"Just thinking about some stuff." I pulled my legs up to my chest.

"About Jess?" His voice shifted and he sounded guarded.

"Not specifically. Just about everything." He nodded, a little satisfied.

"About me?" He smiled a big childish grin.

I smiled too. "Amongst other things."

"Are you okay?" His eyes glanced of worry, he really was a rollercoaster of feelings.

"Yes." I smiled at him. "I think I am."

"Well then, come back to bed. I need someone to cuddle." I laughed and stood up. I climbed in under the covers and let him wrap his strong arms around me. I relished the love and protection I felt and let the goose bumps pass as I put my hands on his chest. I kissed him carefully and then took his glasses and put them on the bedside table behind me. Then I fell asleep, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing and the - at last - quiet background noise in my head.


	17. Chapter 17

I texted Paul that morning.

I went to Luke's, and Jess was there. We didn't talk, but we acknowledged each other's presence with a nod and didn't mind the other person being there for the rest of the stay. It was nice.

I went to the Inn and sat with mom and Sookie in the kitchen for a while. Apparently, Michel's boyfriend wanted them to go to his parents so he could propose. Michel was almost unbearable about showing the ring and telling the story.

I went home to a still sleeping Logan, the jet lag had been hard on him.

I sat and wrote and edited the whole day. Logan woke up a four, so we ate lunch together at home. We cooked. In our kitchen. I didn't even know that was possible.

At night, we went out to a restaurant in Hartford, me, Logan, my mom and Luke. It didn't really know how this constellation had come about, but we actually had a nice time together. After the disaster with Dean, Luke had made sure that he bonded with Logan before it was too late.

At dinner, I realised that something was off. My mom and Logan were acting the same as usual, but then again, they were good actors. Luke, on the other hand, was sweating and rambling a bit. It was after we had had our main course and began discussing dessert, that Logan stood up. And then went down on one knee.

"So, as you all know, I've tried this once before – I hope I have better luck today." He chuckled nervously. "That one time, all those years ago, I proposed to you because I was graduating from college and we were going our separate ways. Back then, it was a practical proposal, I thought we'd had a better chance at staying together if we had rings to prove it. I realise now that it was a mistake, that we were too young." He took a breath, when had he had time to practice this monologue? "But, I don't think it's a coincidence that we are here, in the same position, eleven years later. Because I love you, Lorelei Leigh Gilmore, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't think there would be any better way to spend all of my days than with you by my side. So…" He pulled out a little jewellery box, fumbled a bit before he managed to open it and reveal the most beautiful ring. "Will you marry me?"

I had to admit, I was bawling. I tried to wipe away the tears to not ruin my makeup too much, but it was already too late. He was right, we had been here before. But this time, it really was different. We were different people. We had finally grown up, or well, grown up a bit more. I was sitting in front of a different man, one whom I still loved unreasonably much. But a different man nonetheless. I was also different. Maybe it wasn't a coincidence, like he said. Maybe we had changed to be better for each other. It was different. And in that moment, I couldn't think of any reason to say no.

We ordered dessert, but I couldn't stop crying. It was a good kind of cry, though. Logan was grinning. I caught Luke hiding wiping some tears away. My mom was also kind of sad, but also really, really happy. I think she realised then, that I wouldn't be hers the same way I was before. I didn't want it to be true, I loved my mom more than anything in the whole world. I wouldn't function without her. But yes, things were going to be different. It wasn't like we weren't going to meet all the time, or watch movies the same way, or talk the same way. Yet… something had changed.

In the car ride home, we listened to some classics on the radio. We all sang along to the lyrics, my mom and I busted some moves too. I sat there, in the backseat with Logan by my side, and I realised that these were the people I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Instinctively, I put a hand on my stomach. I had started to show some time ago. These people – and our baby. I was pretty darn lucky.


End file.
